"They probably left the albino to clean up," Autor says, shaking his head.
The scene opens up onto a hut. Inigo knocks on the door, to someone's "Go away!" Inigo's knocking becomes more insistent, which prompts an older man to open a hole the door. "What? What?"
"Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?" Inigo says.
"The king's stinking son fired me," Miracle Max says. "And thank you so much for the reminder. While you're at it, why don't you give me a papercut and pour lemon juice on it. We're closed!" He shuts the hole in the door, and Inigo pounds on it until he opens up again. "Beat it or I'll call the brute squad!"
"I'm on the brute squad," Fezzik says.
"You are the brute squad," Miracle Max says.
"We need a miracle. It's very important," Inigo says.
"I'm retired! Besides, why would you want who the king's stinking son fired?" Miracle Max says. "I might kill whoever you want the miracle for."
"He's already dead," Inigo says.
"He is, eh? I'll take a look. Bring him in," Miracle Max says.
Inigo lays Westley out on a table inside, and Max prods him. "I've seen worse."
"Sir? Sir?" Inigo says. "We're in a terrible rush."
"Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles," Miracle Max says. "You got money?"
"Sixty-five," Inigo says.
"Sheesh! I've never worked for so little," Miracle Max says, "and that was for a very noble cause."
"This is noble, sir," Inigo says. "His wife is a... cripple. His children are on the brink of starvation."
"Phew! Are you a rotten liar!" Miracle Max says.
Inigo leans forward, placing his hands on the table. "I need him to help avenge my father. Murdered these twenty years."
"Your first story was better," Miracle Max says. "Where's that bellows? He probably owes you money, huh? Well, I'll ask him."
"He's dead, he can't talk," Inigo says.
"Ooh, poo-poo, look at you," Miracle Max says. "Turns out your friend is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and dead dead. Please open his mouth."
Inigo leans forward to open his mouth, and Miracle Max pumps air into Westley with a bellows. "Now," Miracle Max says, "mostly dead is slightly alive. All dead, there's usually only one thing you can do."
"What's that?" Inigo says, a doubtful look on his face.
"Go through his clothes and look for loose change," Max says, smiling. He sets the bellows aside and turns to Westley. "Hey! Hello in there! Whatcha got that's so important here?"
Max presses on Westley's chest, who says something like, "Truuuuue looooove."
"See? True love," Inigo says. "You cannot ask for a more noble cause than that."
"Sorry. True love is the greatest thing in the world, except for a nice MLT, a mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe," Max says, smacking his lips. "But that's not what he said! He obviously said, 'to blave', which as we all know means to bluff! So you're probably playing cards, and he cheated--"
"Liar! Liar! Liar!" an old woman says, coming around the corner to point at Miracle Max.
"What's with the old women being confrontational in this movie?" Autor says.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2015-11-26 06:48 am (UTC)The scene opens up onto a hut. Inigo knocks on the door, to someone's "Go away!" Inigo's knocking becomes more insistent, which prompts an older man to open a hole the door. "What? What?"
"Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?" Inigo says.
"The king's stinking son fired me," Miracle Max says. "And thank you so much for the reminder. While you're at it, why don't you give me a papercut and pour lemon juice on it. We're closed!" He shuts the hole in the door, and Inigo pounds on it until he opens up again. "Beat it or I'll call the brute squad!"
"I'm on the brute squad," Fezzik says.
"You are the brute squad," Miracle Max says.
"We need a miracle. It's very important," Inigo says.
"I'm retired! Besides, why would you want who the king's stinking son fired?" Miracle Max says. "I might kill whoever you want the miracle for."
"He's already dead," Inigo says.
"He is, eh? I'll take a look. Bring him in," Miracle Max says.
Inigo lays Westley out on a table inside, and Max prods him. "I've seen worse."
"Sir? Sir?" Inigo says. "We're in a terrible rush."
"Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles," Miracle Max says. "You got money?"
"Sixty-five," Inigo says.
"Sheesh! I've never worked for so little," Miracle Max says, "and that was for a very noble cause."
"This is noble, sir," Inigo says. "His wife is a... cripple. His children are on the brink of starvation."
"Phew! Are you a rotten liar!" Miracle Max says.
Inigo leans forward, placing his hands on the table. "I need him to help avenge my father. Murdered these twenty years."
"Your first story was better," Miracle Max says. "Where's that bellows? He probably owes you money, huh? Well, I'll ask him."
"He's dead, he can't talk," Inigo says.
"Ooh, poo-poo, look at you," Miracle Max says. "Turns out your friend is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and dead dead. Please open his mouth."
Inigo leans forward to open his mouth, and Miracle Max pumps air into Westley with a bellows. "Now," Miracle Max says, "mostly dead is slightly alive. All dead, there's usually only one thing you can do."
"What's that?" Inigo says, a doubtful look on his face.
"Go through his clothes and look for loose change," Max says, smiling. He sets the bellows aside and turns to Westley. "Hey! Hello in there! Whatcha got that's so important here?"
Max presses on Westley's chest, who says something like, "Truuuuue looooove."
"See? True love," Inigo says. "You cannot ask for a more noble cause than that."
"Sorry. True love is the greatest thing in the world, except for a nice MLT, a mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe," Max says, smacking his lips. "But that's not what he said! He obviously said, 'to blave', which as we all know means to bluff! So you're probably playing cards, and he cheated--"
"Liar! Liar! Liar!" an old woman says, coming around the corner to point at Miracle Max.
"What's with the old women being confrontational in this movie?" Autor says.